How can one feel anxiety about printing an image? About hanging it up? Such a small thing, and yet, I felt nervous, I felt all kinds of thoughts going through my head. At the same time I had this anger or frustration against my neighbor because it appears that no one cares. Cares about what is happening in the United States today, yesterday, last week.
Appears is the operative word because I don’t know how my neighbors feel or think. I may misjudge them and they may feel the same outrage inside that I do over the murder of George Floyd, and all the others. We are all comfortable, white, ought to be well educated middle class Americans and we are the ones who should speak out against the injustices in our society, not go about business as usual.
I wanted to make a statement in my neighborhood and that is why this morning I printed out copies of an image. I chose the image because it says what I believe – we are all equal no matter what color we are– and it speaks of love and of coming together. I want my neighbors to see the image and feel something. Because if they feel something they may think, and perhaps that might then make them vote, hopefully, for change. They can also be uncomfortable and see me as a leftist liberal or silly woman and dismiss me, but if so, so be it.
What I have done is a very small thing, but at least I have done “something” and I feel better for it.
Dear Mum,
There is always more work to be done but everyone is on a different operating system and a different bandwidth, so to speak. I like your images on the garage. Carey and I received our stimulus cheque. I had the pleasure of depositing it and then choosing various organisations to donate to as a FU to 45.
I struggle with prioritising my responses to the crises we face. There are so many and my responsibilities as a citizen of the world, and ally to the oppressed demand more and more of my time to the point that I wonder if I am working hard enough to fight the good fight or am I being too selfish working on my career? These problems demand such massive work and change that maybe I’m deluding myself into thinking I can pursue the things I want and fight for the things I beleive in? I like to think I can do both but I don’t see how. I am trying to live and design my life according to my values but the economic system we live in makes it very difficult to do that. It doesn’t mean that I don’t try. And how I go about it will be different than others. I read somewhere that to be noble is to continually work towards being better than you were before. It means doing the hard work inside and outside. For me, this work includes being a conscientious consumer, a vegetarian, a concientious objector, an environmentalist, a progressive, an ally to indigenous and oppressed peoples, and an informed citizen. I would like to add activist to this list. I’m working on that.
I remember when you took Lachlan and I to Tijuanna for the first time. I’m guessing I was 9, 10 or 11 years old? The experience blew me away, and I’m sure I was scared inside. It was dirty, it smelled, it felt raw and thickly layered with poverty. The contrast to what I was used to couldn’t be more striking. I remember a child came up to me selling churros. I asked something like, “How do I know how it tastes?” You scolded me and you were right to do so. In that moment when I asked, I was coming from a place of ignorant privilege and fear, not compassion or brotherhood. Have I grown into the most competent, aware, social justice mega-warrior, woke white male ally ever? I’m certain the answer is no but I’m a million light years evolved from that boy I was. I’m nobler than I was and getting even nobler?;)
So thank you for being one of my teachers:) That is something that you can feel better about.
I love you.
Tedo
Hi Tedo,
Thank you for sharing but even more thank you for doing your best to be a “brother’s keeper” – the world needs that more than anything else now. If we don’t try to help or change the world, we loose hope. I believe there are more people who want to share than not. Listened to Jane Goodall this morning and when she talked about hope, and then Roots and Shoots, her youth organization, I felt so much better.
Love,
Mum